“Alan: So I can't even have one stupid thing in this house?
Charlie: Hey, leave Jake out of this!
(Recorded Laughter)”
I took this quotation directly from a fan site of Two and a Half Men in a section titled “Most Popular Quotes”. Are you serious people? How this show is about to begin recording it’s ninth season is above me.
Let me break down the show for you:
Charlie gets laid.
Alan doesn’t.
Jake is dumb and likes cake.
Ok, I understand the show. What I don’t understand is how in the year 2011 people still watch shows with such predictable set ups and with a recorded laughter track. Are we that lazy that we have to be told when to laugh?
If we were to suppress the laughter track on shows like Two and a Half Men, people would never laugh. Why?
Because by the eighth season: Jake was still just a fat teenager. Jon Cryer’s closeted Alan still couldn’t get a break. And Charlie Sheen couldn’t even pretend to be sober anymore. Laughter tracks were already old news when Andy Kaufman was playing "Latka" and they aren't making a comeback. The reason Seinfeld could get away with the laughter track was that it was funny in between as well.
The new season will star Ashton Kutcher in a role set to replace Charlie Harper and although I am dreading coming across it on TV, there is actually some confidence in my heart that this is its last season. Ashton Kutcher? What were the producers thinking? Eye candy for the ladies? The last time I saw Ashton on screen was the Las Vegas movie with Cameron Diaz and after only five minutes of movie I truly considered oedipism (removing my eyes from their sockets with a pin) while setting my television on fire. I truly believe the show can go no lower. So I ask all readers to help me out by boycotting the TV show in hopes of expediting its cancellation.
Other comedies you should not watch:
How I met your mother – Nobody cares how you met her, stop whining.
Glee – I don’t want to see high school drama and I sure as hell don’t want to hear about it in song.
The Middle – The janitor from Scrubs is the father. I can’t get past that.
The Big Bang Theory – Catchphrases like “Bazinga!” are not funny.
Modern Family – This one is a show I actually really like but I put it on the list because I hate the little Mexican kid and it’s staying here ‘til they kill him off. We get it, you’re precocious, move on.
The Office – How is this show still on? I felt it jumped the shark after season 3. Even Steve Carrell is abandoning this Titanic.
Parks and Recreation – Let’s rewrite The Office why don’t we?
Comedies to Watch instead:
30 Rock – A more accessible alternative and torch bearer to Arrested Development (the cancellation of that show will forever pain my heart-soul) this amazing show created by Tina Fey is not for everyone. If you don’t get it, you don’t get it, period.
Bored to Death – Struggling alcoholic pothead novelist gets dumped by his girlfriend and decides to become a private investigator advertising himself on Craigslist. Life is a box of chocolates. Dark chocolate.
Eastbound & Down – Jody Hill, Will Ferrell, Adam McKay and Danny McBride. Irreverent.
Some cancelled shows you can check out online:
Arrested Development
Extras
Party Down
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